Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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