I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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