i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize