you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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