i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
