just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
