dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
