No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
