I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
