our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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