First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize