I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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