I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
