Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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