hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you would pick up someone in the library
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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