i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
