You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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