I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
