I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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