I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
