The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
