forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
