You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
