he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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