dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
