did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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