Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
