if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I know her cup size but not her name....
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