I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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