too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
