guys are only as good as the porn they watch
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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