Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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