Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
