Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
