Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
