Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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