I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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