Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
