Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
