i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
