OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
