you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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