Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
