the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
