They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Randomize
