I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
