"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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