yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
