I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
