The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
