they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
