so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
