Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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