Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
