I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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