I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
