My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
