you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
