I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
