we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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