I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
