covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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