Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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