He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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